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Indeed, merely being the proud owner of a stately beard will rarely suffice in allowing deep ties of friendship to develop.
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The idea of forming a bond with other gay men on the basis of physical appearance may seem tenuous to some.
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Non-airbrushed, non-ripped guys shouldn’t have to have their representation shoehorned into two pages a month of ‘Look, you guys are okay too!’, but until then I’m glad that I can help. Part of me wishes though that I didn’t have to do that shoot. I did a shoot for Attitude‘s Real Bodies section recently which garnered a hugely positive reaction from social media and this was good for two reasons my own self-confidence and the fact I was getting messages thanking me for doing it because I’d made someone realise they didn’t have to fit an ideal to be accepted in the gay community. They all know each other as well, as I found out when I added them to Facebook and the ‘people you may know’/’mutual friends’ counter practically exploded! They seem like a close-knit community which obviously has pros – looking out for one another, protection and so on and cons – everyone knows everyone’s business. I spent my day with a group of bears and cubs and had a laugh and didn’t feel pressured that I didn’t look my best and didn’t feel judged by them. Going to Manchester Pride this year helped me a lot.
#DIFFERENT TYPES OF GAY MEN OTTER FULL#
I don’t necessarily think that’s a fair representation of all twinks, probably more just the fact that my area is full of assholes. Where I live, there is no bear scene and if you aren’t a 6 foot-tall skinny twink-like guy, you aren’t really ‘part of it’.
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I feel a lot safer around the bear/cub community and I guess that’s why I would label myself a cub, rather than just being a non-skinny, slightly hairy guy without a label. I spoke to Jamie about his thoughts on the issue of ‘belonging’ to one such ‘tribe’ The idea that you can be hirsute, have a waistline in excess of 32″ and yet be ‘sexy’ represents a significant self-esteem boost for many a non-‘twink’. Many of us will recall a time when flicking through the pages of any gay magazine would leave the mind emblazoned with images of unattainable physical ‘perfection’, the specification of which had evolved over a period of time, seemingly linked to ancient Greek models of youthful male beauty. From Twitter usernames to profiles on gay dating apps, there has been a widespread move towards declaring membership of such a ‘tribe’.Īs a counter-narrative to narrow definitions of gay male ‘beauty’, there is no doubt that this evolution has been immeasurably self-affirming for those gay men that don’t fall within the confines of ‘young, smooth and slim’. Nowhere is this more evident than in the use of tribal identifiers such as ‘bear’, ‘otter’, ‘cub’, ‘twink’, and ‘daddy’ among gay men. Obviously, accepting a common purpose does not necessitate a rejection of what makes us different. This is exacerbated further by a reluctance on the part of some to engage in an intersectional analysis of the progress made towards LGBTQ+ liberation. It can be incredibly difficult to keep people under the LGBTQ+ umbrella ‘united’ in the face of wildly divergent concerns, priorities and experiences. The LGBTQ+ community is no different in this regard. Unless there is absolute ‘homogeneity’, a healthy dose of fractiousness and occasional rumblings of disunity are as inevitable as they are desirable. Self-styled communities are, by their very nature, imperfect. Keeping what should be a group of like-minded individuals singing from the same hymn sheet can be challenging. The concept of ‘community’ is complex to say the least. What are the advantages of this and what are the potential pitfalls? Lee Williscroft-Ferris discusses. Gay men have become increasingly tribal, choosing to place themselves into a box that binds them with kindred spirits.